We are having a BABY!! Most of you already know this to be the case, but it is a surreal feeling that leaves me feeling terrified and excited all at the same time. Sometimes I feel like I have been pregnant forever already, and other times I feel like my pregnancy is going by far too quickly. I imagine that's the way the rest of my life will be with this child of mine...exciting and terrifying!
(At our 9 week ultrasound)
We found out we were pregnant on March 12! It was pretty exciting because we found out I was pregnant for Erik's birthday (March 18), and we will have the baby around my birthday (Nov. 17). Our official due date is currently Nov. 11 which means I am at 16 weeks right now.
What most of you don't know is that Erik and I already know what we are having! I am an impatient person and we decided to go to The Fetal Studio in the South Towne Center in Sandy. Turns out that:
Little Baby Schollenberger is a BOY!!
I am thrilled! Terrified, but thrilled! We have loved listening to his little heart beat and seeing him on the ultrasound. He appears to be sucking his thumb at every ultrasound we have had (even at 9 weeks he had his little hand by his face). I fall more in love with him every day and I haven't even felt him move yet!
(At 15 weeks, 5 days)
I know so very little about boys that I feel less prepared to raise a boy than I felt to raise a girl. Yet ever since finding out it is a boy I have become more and more comforted that this is right for Erik and I.
(Sucking his thumb, how can you not fall in love with that cuteness?)
Babies truly are miracles sent from heaven, and I am so overwhelmed that Heavenly Father has entrusted me with one of his little spirit children. I feel blessed and excited for this opportunity and look forward to all the coming adventures!
I read an interesting article the other day that spoke so closely to my heart, I couldn't help but share it. Here is the article, I encourage you to read it. Basically it so closely resembles mine and Erik's relationship and it was the first time I have heard someone coherently put into words the way I feel about Erik and I. It was an amazing reminder and lesson to me that it is okay for Erik and I to be the way that we are. I cannot actually express the number of times I have heard from people, "You need to make Erik do this, or that." nor can I express the number of times I have thought that it was my right as his wife to make him act a certain way. Reading this article helped me reaffirm that the way Erik and I are is not incorrect or wrong...but it is different. Different than a lot of relationships we see, and different scares people. It scared me for a long time, and sometimes it still does.
"Marriage is a union, to be sure, but it's a union that should liberate, not incarcerate. Real love shouldn't limit a person's potential, it should expand it." ~Seth Adam Smith
Just as the couple in this
article are vastly different-one being a "fish," the other a
"bird"-Erik and I are different. I love being outdoors, socializing,
spending time with family, having a clean home. Erik loves playing games, learning
about technology, being alone, and doesn't care if he is living in a mess or
not. I love school, and Erik hates school. We both love learning, but we learn
different ways. I enjoy camping and being in the mountains. Erik would rather
go to the dentist than go camping. I like going to the dentist. Erik
dislikes going to the dentist. Erik loves talking about how to build webpages,
and learning all the different web building languages. I don't care how the
webpage was made, I just care that it works.
Want to know what's crazy
about all this: WE MAKE IT WORK! We may not do it the way you do it, and
you may not do it the way we do it. I think the important thing is that we
strive to let each other be the very best person that we can be. We are not
always perfect at it, but we are learning to be perfect at it. We are
changing, growing, and becoming better than we ever have been.
I love my husband.
I love that he sees this world differently than me. I love the way his
face lights up when he is talking about the beauty of the video game he just
played, or the new javascript function he just learned. I love that he
will drop everything to listen to me. I love that he will be late to work to
spend an extra 10 minutes lying with me in the morning. I love that he
encourages me to do what makes me happy, and he provides ways for me to have
the experiences that I desire. Erik does an amazing job of letting me be who I
want to be, even if he does not want to be it too. I love that Erik is
patient with me when I am upset and I struggle to come up with the words to
say. I love that Erik understands my fears and my concerns. I love that Erik
stands by what he believes is right even when others don't agree with the way
he does things. Erik is an amazing man, and I love him very much
It has been a while since I have posted, and I feel like it is time to catch people up a little bit. I have come to realize that life moves faster and faster. We have things happen all the time that completely changes us and the way that we live. Here are just a few updates:
Internship
For the last part of school, I was required to complete a 14 week internship. I did my internship at Maple Lake Academy (I had worked there as staff before interning). MLA is a residential treatment center for adolescent girls and boys with learning disabilities. Basically the kids all have either Non-verbal learning disorders or are on the autism spectrum. They are all high functioning and just have troubles because of their learning differences. My internship supervisor was absolutely incredible, and I couldn't have asked for a better internship. I learned a lot about myself, about becoming a Rec. Therapist, and about how to help people. I will have to write more about this at another point, but I am grateful for my internship. I miss it all the time, but am happy that I had the opportunity.
Me and my Internship Partner, Coriann
New Jobs
Both Erik and I have new jobs (or at least fairly new). Erik went from delivering pizza to working full time with the church on the Family History webpages in the last 7 months. If that isn't a jump, I don't know what is. It has been an amazing opportunity for him. He is being challenged to learn new things all the time, and being taught by some amazing people. He has grown and been stretched in so many ways. I am so proud of the hard work he has done. There is no doubt in my mind that Heavenly Father had a hand in getting him where he is, and that it is exactly what we needed to have happen. The church is an amazing company to work for, and we are very blessed. Erik also spent a couple of months translating from Finnish to English for American Express. It was good supplemental income while I was doing an unpaid internship, but definitely not a long term job he would like to do.
I started a new job working at Cottonwood Treatment Center. It is a Residential Treatment Center for at-risk youth. I am one of two recreation therapists that works with the kids. It is an 84 bed facility that helps treat a variety of conditions ranging from depression/suicide to schizophrenia. It can get a little bit intense sometimes, but I am enjoying it and really learning how to be a Rec. Therapist without my internship supervisor guiding me every step of the way. I feel like I am finally getting the hang of it, and I am happy to be there.
Graduation
I have officially graduated from BYU! What an exciting and crazy notion! I remember when I started college, I believed that it was something that lasted FOREVER. I was so very wrong. College went faster than I even imagined, and looking back I can only think about how much I did, didn't do, learned, and didn't learn. There is no way to accomplish everything you hope to in four years, but you walk away from the overall experience with more knowledge than you ever thought you would gain. I have made some wonderful friends, amazing connections, and been given the chance to really do something great. I am grateful for BYU and the education I was able to receive there. I learned a lot about who I am, where I am going, and how to get there.
My Family that came to support me
Me and my friends Kristin and Shayna
Well, I will update again soon on Christmas and other adventures...I just need to get my camera back from my Dad's house first :-)!
I have been thinking a lot about music lately. I got asked a question a while back, and I have really struggled to come up with an answer. Someone asked me, "What is a song that defines you?" I have been trying to think of a song that really defines who I am, and it's not so easy. I feel like I have been defined by so many moments in my life, and I have a song that represents each and every one of them. Thus, I decided to write a post about some songs.
I Hope You Dance by Leann Womack
When this song came out, I was probably about 10. I was driving somewhere with my mom, and she played this song. I can't remember who else was in the car with us, but my mom told us that this was her hope for us. When I first heard it, I remember telling her that I didn't understand it. She told me that I would someday, and that she just wanted us to know that it was her hope for us. I think I understand it now, and I really love this song. To me, it means living life to it's fullest, ceasing every moment, and not having regrets.
Lord, I Hope This Day is Good by Don Williams
One of my fondest memories with my dad when I was growing up was when we would take many, many drives up the canyon just because we could. More often than not we would put on some Don Williams as we drove. This song in particular comes to mind, and I don't know if I can fully explain the reasoning behind it. My dad is a wonderful example to me of simple faith. He has shown me and taught me how, in times when we need it, we really can rely on the Lord and each other.
100 Years by Five For Fighting
Sometimes, life seems unbearable. Other times, life is filled with moments that go far too fast. Ever since I first heard the beautiful piano in this song, the music and lyrics have resonated with me. I don't think I've found a more beautiful example of how quickly life goes and how little time we actually have. This song inspires me to be better, stronger, and more than I am. After all, life goes by faster than we expect.
An Olive Grove Facing the Sea by Snow Patrol
When Erik first came home from his mission, he came over to my house late one night, laid next to me on the couch, put one ear bud in my ear, another in his ear, and said I found a song that makes me think of you. He proceeded to playing this song, and told me that a lot of changes were happening but that he really did love me. Since then, this has kind of been our song-at least in my mind. It's a song I have listened to many times, and I love it more and more every time I hear it. Erik knows more about me than anyone I know, and the fact that he has seen my darkest, brightest, and weirdest moments, and loves me in spite of it all means the world to me. I am grateful to have him in my life, and truly don't know where I would be without him.
I guess I'll stop with those songs for now. I think I will post some more at a later time. After all, music is beautiful and wonderful and I love it :-)! I don't know who, or if many people read my blog, but I would love to hear about any songs that mean something to others. I love new music, and I love hearing how music touches people, so please share!
It's interesting to me the moments that make you sit back and think. I find it interesting that it takes moments of immense joy, or immense tragedy to pull us out of our day to day life and really get us to think about our existence.
I guess with that opening I should give a bit of a back story. Two years ago on December 31, my Grandpa passed away. Throughout the holidays and the new year, he is at the forefront of my mind. I miss him dearly, but I have a firm testimony that through Heavenly Father's plan I will see him again. This year amidst the thoughts of my Grandpa, on January 7, my dad's best friend, a man who truly was a part of our family, passed away in a tragic helicopter accident in Peru. His funeral is tomorrow and It is another one of those moments that pulls me back.
Lee was a big part of my families life. He meant a lot to us with his teasing, sarcastic, but always caring personality. I specifically remember a time a few winters ago when it had snowed so much that no one could get out of our neighborhood. I had to work up in Provo, and the entire neighborhood was out trying to get to work. Lee was on one of his off times from his job in Peru, and I remember him coming up in his four wheeler with his plow and he started working on digging me out. It was one of his very first thoughts on that cold winter morning to bring his four-wheeler up and help my family. It's hard to come across someone who cares that much about people he's not even related too. Though I didn't see Lee all the time, he has a special place in my heart, and it is hard to imagine that he is gone. From the time my step-sister and I sat in her basement trying to decide if he was mean or not, to the moment Lee walked in my house asking, "Tava-lou, how are you?" I am truly surrounded by memories of a man who will forever be remembered.
Thus the moment that pulls you back. You truly never know when you are going to have something happen that changes you somehow. It makes you realize how important it is to appreciate every moment you have.
I don't think of myself as one that really mourns someone's death. In my mind, I know that these individuals who leave this earth before me are in a better place. I know that I can see them again. I know that there is a plan. I even feel very deeply that all of them would look at me and say, "You have better things to do than cry over me. Do them." I think the hard part is knowing that you have to wait, and seeing other people work there way through the tragedy.
I guess maybe we should find ways in our life to pull ourselves back. Live up the moments that we have while we have them, and never stop caring. If we do, what do we have to regret? What do we have to miss? I am grateful for all the moments that I had with my Grandpa, with Lee, with all those who have passed, and I look forward to the moments I am having now and will have with those in my life.
I think there is a movie called Four Christmases...I've never seen it before but I can now say I have lived it!
For those who don't know, Erik and I are both from divorced families. Thus, between the two of us we have 8 parents, and basically 20 siblings (if you count in-laws ad practically in-laws). Want to hear the craziest part? We still have 8 siblings that are not seriously dating or married. That is A LOT of possible siblings :-)!
Anyways, to get past the ranting about how big our family is and on to the blog post itself, Erik and I (mostly me) made the decision that we would see all four families on christmas. We only ended up making it to 3/4 but we spent a good amount of time with the fourth during their family christmas party the Sunday before Christmas.
Christmas One
On the Sunday before Christmas we went to Erik's dad's house for their family Christmas party. It was a ton of fun. Each of the married couples had to bring a stocking filled with "Christmas Cheer" to give another couple. Erik and I decided we were going to be incredibly funny and filled our stocking with a couple goldfish, a goldfish tank, and some food. I am pretty sure our niece loved it, but her parents probably would've been happier with something else (love you Ashlee!) We had a blast, and we are totally buying me something awesome with our Christmas money :-)!
Erik's mom, being an incredibly detailed party planner, asked Erik to dress up, pop out of a box, and dance to Santa Baby as a "gift" to the family. It was hilarious! Here are pictures and a video!
Christmas Two
We spent our second Christmas (Christmas morning) with my mommy (sadly I didn't take any pictures from my mom's or my dad's christmas's and no one has posted some on Facebook for me to steal yet!) It was a lot of fun to spend time with all the family. We of course had a ton of delicious food and just relaxed and played around. Mason and I got into an intense competition on SongPop. For those of you who don't know it is an app where you have to try to figure out the songs that are playing faster than the other person. He usually kicks my butt unless Erik is helping me. I don't think anyone could beat Erik if he played :-)! My mommy gave me an awesome face cleaning brush that I have wanted FOREVER and Erik got an electric razor (Thank goodness! Now he will stop using mine to shave!)
Christmas Three
After spending the morning with my mom, we headed up to my dad's house. Erik and I brought our Wii U down to play, and after opening presents we played a little Wii U with the family while my dad and Mason set up his new dart board. After that we sat around, ate, played a little darts, and just enjoyed one another's company. It was a lot of fun. One of my favorite things in the world is just being able to spend time with family. Especially when it involves food. I missed out on the puzzle this year (every year my dad's family does a puzzle), but the time I got to spend with them was wonderful!!
We got a great gift from my daddy. A propane stove for our emergency preparedness stuff. It is going to be wonderful to have!
Christmas Four
Erik and I made it down to Fairview to see his mom for Christmas this year. It was a lot of fun. We don't get to see his mom very often so it was nice to be able to go and see them. We ate food, talked, and opened presents. Erik's mom made everyone some adorable crocheted slippers, and we really enjoyed being able to spend time. Thankfully it didn't snow on our drive down there or back, and it was a wonderful evening.
Overall it was a packed and busy Christmas but highly enjoyable. We had plenty of other parties for work, extended family, etc. that we really enjoyed too. I must say that I had a wonderful first Christmas with my husband and I look forward to many many more. Next Christmas, I think we might not try and do all four, but rather spend a lot of quality time with two and then spend time with the other two the next year. I guess we will just have to wait and see what next year holds!
Side Note:
These are the icicles on my cute little apartment! I seriously adore them! They are so long right now that I have to duck to get into the house! It makes it feel like I live in a gingerbread house or something!
I don't think I could count the number of times I have attempted to maintain a blog, but I guess right now is as good a time as any. I mean, who wants to actually study for a final when you can distract yourself by every other possible means out there :-)! You can only read the same posts on Facebook, and look at the same pictures on Pinterest so many times before it's time to find something else to do! So here is my latest attempt. I will start blogging now!
Life has been all over the place! I cannot even believe I have been married almost six months! Truly time just seems to be in fast forward most of the time. I have been working and going to school, and Erik has been working-a lot! I recently had a cornea transplant (I will explain more if you dare keep reading), and have been getting ready for Erik and I's first Christmas! Life is so much fun! I am having a blast!
The Cornea Transplant
I have a condition called Keratoconus. Basically my cornea is too thin and can't hold it's shape correctly. Instead of being round, it goes into a cone shape. If you want some more information (it's actually pretty interesting) here is a good http://www.nkcf.org. They usually treat Keratoconus by using hard contacts. The contacts push the cornea into a normal shape and make it so you can actually. Well extremely long story short, my eyes decided that they didn't want to wear hard contacts anymore. The next option is some lens like thing they put in they eye, but my condition was too severe so I had a cornea transplant. Here are some pictures from the experience!
Before and After Shot. The halo you can see in the eye is the new cornea. There are also 20 stitches that you can't see.
Overall, the healing process is going very well. Though the first week was awful, I am feeling really good now and only have problems with pain sometimes. It'll be about a year before it is all healed and done, but I am grateful to have been blessed enough to live in a time when medical technology allows for this. Additionally, I am so deeply grateful for the individual who donated to me. It is sometimes a bittersweet feeling that I have been blessed with better vision, and the ability to see while someone has just lost someone they loved. I am grateful for the plan of salvation and that I know whoever has donated has returned to meet Heavenly Father. It is a beautiful plan.
Christmastime!
I love Christmas! It is so strange not being at home, and having my own little place to decorate. At first I wasn't going to decorate. We have a pretty small (though adorable) apartment and I just didn't think it could work. Well, in the end I gave in. My daddy let me borrow one of the small trees he had tucked away int he attic, and I pulled out all my decorations (Thank you Grandma)! I really love having a Christmas tree in our home and seeing it all lit up and decorated. It really makes it feel more like Christmas! Now if only it would snow! Here are some pictures of my Christmas decorations!
Well, maybe I will try to keep posting in this blog! At least anyone who reads it gets to have a small glimpse into what I've been doing! Have a Merry Christmas!!!
