January 18, 2013

Thoughts and Ramblings

It's interesting to me the moments that make you sit back and think.  I find it interesting that it takes moments of immense joy, or immense tragedy to pull us out of our day to day life and really get us to think about our existence.  

I guess with that opening I should give a bit of a back story.  Two years ago on December 31, my Grandpa passed away.  Throughout the holidays and the new year, he is at the forefront of my mind.  I miss him dearly, but I have a firm testimony that through Heavenly Father's plan I will see him again.  This year amidst the thoughts of my Grandpa, on January 7, my dad's best friend, a man who truly was a part of our family, passed away in a tragic helicopter accident in Peru.  His funeral is tomorrow and It is another one of those moments that pulls me back.

Lee was a big part of my families life.  He meant a lot to us with his teasing, sarcastic, but always caring personality.  I specifically remember a time a few winters ago when it had snowed so much that no one could get out of our neighborhood.  I had to work up in Provo, and the entire neighborhood was out trying to get to work.  Lee was on one of his off times from his job in Peru, and I remember him coming up in his four wheeler with his plow and he started working on digging me out.  It was one of his very first thoughts on that cold winter morning to bring his four-wheeler up and help my family.  It's hard to come across someone who cares that much about people he's not even related too. Though I didn't see Lee all the time, he has a special place in my heart, and it is hard to imagine that he is gone.  From the time my step-sister and I sat in her basement trying to decide if he was mean or not, to the moment Lee walked in my house asking, "Tava-lou, how are you?" I am truly surrounded by memories of a man who will forever be remembered.

Thus the moment that pulls you back.  You truly never know when you are going to have something happen that changes you somehow.  It makes you realize how important it is to appreciate every moment you have.  

I don't think of myself as one that really mourns someone's death.  In my mind, I know that these individuals who leave this earth before me are in a better place.  I know that I can see them again.  I know that there is a plan.  I even feel very deeply that all of them would look at me and say, "You have better things to do than cry over me.  Do them." I think the hard part is knowing that you have to wait, and seeing other people work there way through the tragedy. 

I guess maybe we should find ways in our life to pull ourselves back.  Live up the moments that we have while we have them, and never stop caring.  If we do, what do we have to regret? What do we have to miss? I am grateful for all the moments that I had with my Grandpa, with Lee, with all those who have passed, and I look forward to the moments I am having now and will have with those in my life.  

So, be happy.  We are supposed to be happy.

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