March 10, 2014

An Amazing Lesson

I read an interesting article the other day that spoke so closely to my heart, I couldn't help but share it. Here is the article, I encourage you to read it. Basically it so closely resembles mine and Erik's relationship and it was the first time I have heard someone coherently put into words the way I feel about Erik and I. It was an amazing reminder and lesson to me that it is okay for Erik and I to be the way that we are. I cannot actually express the number of times I have heard from people, "You need to make Erik do this, or that." nor can I express the number of times I have thought that it was my right as his wife to make him act a certain way. Reading this article helped me reaffirm that the way Erik and I are is not incorrect or wrong...but it is different. Different than a lot of relationships we see, and different scares people.  It scared me for a long time, and sometimes it still does.



"Marriage is a union, to be sure, but it's a union that should liberate, not incarcerate. Real love shouldn't limit a person's potential, it should expand it."
~Seth Adam Smith




Just as the couple in this article are vastly different-one being a "fish," the other a "bird"-Erik and I are different. I love being outdoors, socializing, spending time with family, having a clean home. Erik loves playing games, learning about technology, being alone, and doesn't care if he is living in a mess or not. I love school, and Erik hates school. We both love learning, but we learn different ways. I enjoy camping and being in the mountains. Erik would rather go to the dentist than go camping. I like going to the dentist. Erik dislikes going to the dentist. Erik loves talking about how to build webpages, and learning all the different web building languages. I don't care how the webpage was made, I just care that it works. 




Want to know what's crazy about all this: WE MAKE IT WORK! We may not do it the way you do it, and you may not do it the way we do it. I think the important thing is that we strive to let each other be the very best person that we can be. We are not always perfect at it, but we are learning to be perfect at it. We are changing, growing, and becoming better than we ever have been. 




I love my husband.  I love that he sees this world differently than me. I love the way his face lights up when he is talking about the beauty of the video game he just played, or the new javascript function he just learned.  I love that he will drop everything to listen to me. I love that he will be late to work to spend an extra 10 minutes lying with me in the morning. I love that he encourages me to do what makes me happy, and he provides ways for me to have the experiences that I desire. Erik does an amazing job of letting me be who I want to be, even if he does not want to be it too.  I love that Erik is patient with me when I am upset and I struggle to come up with the words to say. I love that Erik understands my fears and my concerns. I love that Erik stands by what he believes is right even when others don't agree with the way he does things. Erik is an amazing man, and I love him very much




1 comment:

snowcereal said...

Dear Tava, I have been reading through some of your blog today. I love it! You inspire me to be a little better and I appreciate that a lot. Thank you for sharing your stories and lessons learned. Reading it makes me remember working on class projects and whatnot--thank you for being patient with me then :) Good times. And congratulations on the new job--it sounds so exciting.